So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
