Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
