Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
