They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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