She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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