She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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