Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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