So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
