how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
