dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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