so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
