your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize