I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
