Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
