where am i from again
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
two words: eviction party
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
