Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
