I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
