another moral hangover. fuck.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
