It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
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