Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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