i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize