I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize