wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize
