I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
