so that wasnt chicken after all
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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