you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
