out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
