A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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