i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
