im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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