I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
