whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
