you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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