My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
