you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
