That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
