So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
