so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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