i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
