so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
