Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
i will never coherently bang her
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize