Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
