So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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