why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
