honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
