Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
