I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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