how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
