it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
we're chasing vodka with high fives
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Randomize
