My friends, they love my intelligence
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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