She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
