Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
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