he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
