I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
