ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
