Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
