I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
