I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
