I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I love you. Go after that dick
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Randomize
