on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
