A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
why do cheetos always look like penises
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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