He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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