there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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