Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Randomize
